A Fuller Expression of Myself

Intellectually I thought if I did everything right I would be invincible. 

 

Arrogance of Youth? Hope? Trusting in the current science? A Rule Follower? 

 

I believed that if I exercised, ate well, drank water, didn’t smoke or do heavy drugs, limited sugar, red meat and dairy, meditated and prayed, volunteered, took my vitamins, slept 8+ hours per night, I was sure to be indestructible. These were to be my shields, my force field, my armor, my protection again cancer.

 

But they weren’t.

 

Unless they were and the cancer was stronger. 

 

We will never know. 

 

So that’s Now.

 

After is nebulous. Constantly evolving and developing. Being created and destroyed.

 

Kali Ma, the Hindu goddess of time, creation, preservations, and destruction.

 

I have everything I need right here for my whole.healed.beauty.

 

I play in the dirt. I get some sun. I create. I move my body to music. I eat well. I rest.

 

I surround myself with beauty and possibility and positive thoughts and love. 

 

I explore – going farther than I’ve given myself permission to go. 

 

I grow.

 

I live and am reborn, to live a fuller expression of myself.