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I was born in Mexico though I was raised in the United States.

Living in Silicon Valley was supposed to be a temporary thing – just one year as my Dad trained the employees of a Motorola plant. One year turned into two turned into ten and we never moved back. My Dad was such an outstanding asset to the company, they made his temporary position permanent and he eventually rose in the leadership ranks.

This meant that we would return to visit all of our family in Mexico over extended vacations – Christmas, Easter, and Summer Break my parents, younger brother, and I would pile into the panel van and drive the length of California and the width of Arizona to land in my hometown in Mexico to visit my mother’s side of the family. My father’s side of the family was further into the interior, a more difficult trip that we only managed every 2-3 years or so instead of 2-3 times per year.

I had a cousin whom I never saw without a guitar in his hands. Although my singing voice wasn’t (and isn’t) anything Whitney Houston (que en paz descanse) would ever worry about, I loved the act of singing. It brought me tremendous joy. I was (and am) an enthusiastic, loud, and off-key vocalist, a charming and terrible combination for any audience.

When my cousin, Gustavo, would pull out his guitar I would join him. I have an incredible memory for lyrics, which is good for ensemble singing sessions. And my eagerness and ardor likely inspired my cousin to play more.

I felt a kinship with him – the older cousin! I was expressive, always acting out scenes or dancing. I read lots of books and had an active imagination. I wrote poetry and stories. When assigned coloring sheets for school, I spent extra time and multiple shades of blue to describe the sky. I wanted to sing like Billie Holiday or Linda Ronstadt, a local hero. I wanted to be an Artist with a Capital A, whatever that was. But I believed you had to be born with it, and my off-tune singing, poor drawing skills, and silly dancing didn’t portend well for my aspirations.

 

My cousin wanted to be a musician. This wasn’t an acceptable career choice for a good Mexican son in the late 80s. I don’t know how my aunt and uncle persuaded him to pursue a law degree but he dutifully did, to please them. He busked his way through Europe. Then returned to gigging in cities across Mexico. He played Asia. He was living the artist’s life, legitimately and I wanted to know how.

 

This was before email and cell phones, so we wrote letters to each other. He told me about a book he had been introduced to which changed his worldview, called The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron.

Perhaps you’ve heard of it?

Written in 1992, it’s a book that helps anyone develop their creative side. Though Julia Cameron is a writer, this isn’t a book exclusively for writers, or even painters, dancers, or filmmakers.

The book is divided into 12-week lessons meant to debunk myths and encourage confidence, allowing your creative side to emerge and develop.

One of her best-known tools is called Morning Pages. Every morning, before you do anything else, you write three pages of whatever.

It can be the list of things you have to take care of that day, how tired you are, a poem or a sketch might emerge. It typically takes about thirty minutes, but it can take less. Morning Pages are the way I have journaled for the last 28 years.

Ninety-eight percent of the time it’s just gobbledegook. I’m not trying to write a masterpiece or The Great American Novel. It’s a check in with myself, or God, or Spirit. I often ask myself, after greeting myself or God on the first line, How are you doing?

Did you catch that?

I have to ask myself how I am doing on the third line of my Morning Pages because otherwise the entire day or a few days or weeks might pass before I can answer that question. I won’t know how I am doing – truly doing – unless I do Morning Pages.

 

For many years I complained about my weight and my husband. This was still during the years when I yearned for something but didn’t know what it was or how to get it.

I thought my problem was my husband and that I was fat.

It was neither. My problem was me. I was the problem – I am the problem. I am the center of my universe. No matter where I go, there I am. Blaming other people, circumstances, or events feels “easier” because if I have to take responsibility for myself, my choices, and my decisions, I have to take responsibility for the state of my life. And if I think my life sucks I have only myself to blame.

But I was only able to come to this understanding after decades of excavating past the blame barriers I had erected.  It’s not always pleasant in there, facing my shadow side. Deep inside lives my greed, envy, arrogance, judgment, impatience, and selfishness. So many groovy, funky things that I try to avoid because I don’t want to be perceived as a bad person. It’s so much “easier” to blame others for my condition, and want them to change. It’s much more difficult to accept where I am and change.

 

Morning Pages help me with all of that. I can whine, complain, gossip, and gripe in peace without fear of judgment. I make a mess in those Morning Pages. But then I can go deeper. After so many years of Morning Pages, I direct less judgment toward myself and allow myself to be more curious.

 

For example, this morning, I woke up exhausted. I complained about being tired and all the things that made me tired and all the people and places I had gone that made me tired (THEY made me tired) for about a page and a half.

But then I got curious. I asked myself some Whys and Hows. And I got my answer.

I’m an Extroverted Introvert. Since Saturday night I had scheduled too many social engagements without sufficient time to recover and restore in between. I was/am exhausted, even though I’m getting 8+ hours of sleep, exercise, meditating, sunshine, and drinking lots of water.

All those inputs that I know add fuel to the tank aren’t enough. I need a few hours of stillness. Maybe some creativity, or maybe I’ll just stare at a wall or at a tree outside.

I have one more social engagement this morning but then a few hours before I pick up The Adolescents and help them with their Finals, make dinner, and hit the sheets.

I would not have understood what I need unless I spent some time journaling. My journal is a place of unfettered freedom.

I’ve got hundreds of journals now after so many years. Believe me, they aren’t all fancy. I mostly use yellow legal pads. Currently, I’m slogging through graph-lined Composition books – these are not my favorite but I have a large inventory when I purchased one 12-pack on Amazon instead of purchasing one. I’ve made my peace with the format and that is good to know too.

Most of the writing in my journals is complete garbage. It’s not for anyone else’s eyes or hearts. I’ve burned many of the journals after leafing through them. I give myself a lot of grace when I look at old pages. The person who wrote those things still lives inside me and I love her. We’ve been through a lot together and I admire that.

I admire myself for having lived through my life.

Can you imagine? I wasn’t able to say that before. I could say it about other people, but not myself. I love and approve of myself. I encourage myself. I can say those things because almost three decades of regular and consistent attention have allowed me to get to know myself and love myself the way I’ve tried to love others.

 

 

I wake up early – much earlier than most people. I meditate first and then straight to the Morning Pages.

Some days, depending on how it goes, I may write later in the day. I keep smaller journals in my car, in bags, around, so I can capture my thoughts and feelings. Some of these journals are made of scrap paper stapled together. I’ve written on old newspapers and magazines, the back of algebra assignments, and envelopes.

It’s like the old song, “It’s All Right to Cry”, from Free To Be You And Me. Sung by football legend, Rosey Grier, the lyrics say:

It’s alright to cry
Crying gets the sad out of you
It’s alright to cry
It might make you feel better

 

Well, I feel that way about writing – it gets the sad out of me and it makes me feel better.

 

Do you journal? Why or why not? What holds you back?

 

Today’s prompt, try it. Grab a notebook – I’ve used plenty of half-used notebooks left over from The Adolescents academic school year – and write for three pages – three sides, I should say. Just go for it. You could write – this is so dumb, why am I even doing this, this isn’t going to help anything. And see where it goes.

The point isn’t to write sonnets. The point is to get to know yourself better, to see where you are, what you need, and what you want.

 

Be a friend to yourself first. You can only do that by spending time with yourself and getting to know yourself.

Of course, we spend all day every day with ourselves, but I don’t believe we get to know ourselves. We just sling our meat suits around from place to thing, never really checking in. Maybe we are afraid to know. Maybe we don’t want to face our shadow.

 

That’s OK. This is the time of darkness. The way to eliminate darkness is by shedding light on it.

 

A little bit of journaling can help illuminate. You are safe. Try three pages for three days this week and see how it goes.

Let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear about your experience. And if you already journal, what are some of your tips?

In ten days we observe Imbolc, Candlemas, or Groundhog Day – take your pick.

Each of these Temporal Landmarks observes the astronomical mid-point between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox.

The Groundhog may or may not see his shadow, determining if we will have an early spring or a prolonged winter. Imbolc is also celebrated as St. Bridgid’s Day, a saint feast day and a seasonal festival, representing the light half of the year. Candlemas is a Catholic tradition that lands 40 days after Christmas and the birth of Jesus, where Mary and Joseph presented Jesus at the Temple. At Candlemas Mass, your candles are blessed and used throughout the rest of the year.

These traditions may have some roots in agriculture, lambing season, or weather divination. In the Northern Hemisphere, many of the celebrations relate to the seasonal change, the eagerness of the coming spring, and the casting off of winter.

 

In the last few posts I’ve described Winter as a time for retreat; the long nighttime hours, cold and inclement weather, and short daylight hours perfectly pair for staying in and dreaming.

But the Earth moves fast (67,000 miles per hour!), with the Northern Hemisphere tilting back toward the sun. Regardless of whether or not Puxetawny Phil sees his shadow on February 2, Spring is coming.

In the meantime, this season brings a bit more light, and a bit more warmth, interspersed with erratic weather. Is it Winter? Is it Spring? It is sometimes both yet neither – Imbolc is its own season, a cross-quarter, a point along the way of an endless cycle.

 

In these last few days of Winter Winter, I’m going to go over the list of things I talked about last week, one day at a time. If we can add them to our daily lives, they benefit us as we move into the next Season of Joy.

 

 

The first thing on the list was Meditation.

 

Yeah, yeah. I know you know. You’ve heard all the benefits of meditation. The studies prove over and over.

Maybe you already meditate. Do you? I’m curious. Have you noticed a change in your life? What has changed?

Write that in your journal today – acknowledge or recognize the changes in your life that you attribute to your meditation practice.

 

For those who have yet (such a powerful word, yet!) to start a meditation practice, allow me to make an analogy.

 

Huge Disney and Pixar fan, here. Have you seen the movie Cars? Yes? Then you’ll remember this scene. No? I’ll give you the setup here.

 

Cars is about a young, hot-shot, rookie race car named Lightning McQueen. Lightning McQueen’s grand ambition is to win the Piston Cup, making him the first rookie ever to do so.

In the race to win the Piston Cup, Lightning McQueen ignores the wisdom of his pit crew. He allows the pit crew to refuel him but refuses to take the time to change his tires reasoning that the time gained by skipping this crucial step will help him to win the Piston Cup. His treatment of and demeanor toward his crew inspires them to quit during the race.

I won’t spoil the movie for you but you might be able to guess that his decision to keep driving at his top speed (which has been said to be between 198-230 mph) on those tires didn’t work out the way he thought it would.

 

Well, meditation is like taking a crucial pit stop.

Meditation allows you to refuel. You hear this saying a lot right now about filling your cup or filling your tank. There are many ways to do that. Meditation does it by increasing your emotional health, enhancing self-awareness, and, in some cases, can help with insomnia.

Meditation is like the tires on the car, helping support you through emotional stress by transmitting or slowing it, absorbing it, helping you change the direction of maladaptive thoughts and maintain flexible and robust thoughts, or learning new techniques to manage stress and get a new context on your stressful situations.

Meditation is an adjustment that can help your performance by boosting your creativity and imagination, lowering your blood pressure and heart rate, and increasing your patience and tolerance.

It’s the moment you take for yourself when you are racing endlessly around a track, completing hundreds of laps, when you stop.

Maybe it is to answer a question. Who is this for? Why am I doing this? Do I really need to go this fast?

Maybe it is to take a pause and catch your breath before you resume.

I find it to be a good way to allow my spirit to catch up to my body. I wonder sometimes, who is driving this? How did I end up here? I’m running through paces.

Maybe I can create a bit of spaciousness.

Take a deep breath and meditate on that word for a little bit – spaciousness.

Spaciousness is the feeling we get when we admire a sunset, look out over the ocean, or notice a bird’s first chirp of the morning.

A few breaths, one hand over your heart, one on your belly, close your eyes – pause.

That’s all meditating is. Bringing some equanimity, some balance, to your morning, afternoon, or evening. We don’t have to go so far as to say it will bring balance to your life – that will come. But we can start somewhere – here:::now – since that’s the only thing we have.

 

 

I use the Calm app most mornings. I love Jeff Warren and his Daily Trip. He hosts a free meditation virtually every Sunday called “The Do Nothing Project”. It’s a good reminder.

But you don’t have to do that – use an app or join a virtual meditation.

 

Did you arrive early to an appointment or to pick the kids up from school?

 

Instead of doom scrolling the news, set the timer on your phone for one minute, three, five, or ten minutes, and close your eyes. Take some deep breaths.

Focus on the breath. Or focus on the feeling of your hands in your lap.

You don’t have to twist yourself into a pretzel, shape your fingers into mudras, or repeat a mantra – unless you want to.

Be easy about it.

Thoughts will come. Let them. And then remind yourself, oh yeah. I’m focusing on my breath.

You may get squirmy. Normal.

Your nose may itch. Scratch it.

Just observe it and attend to it mindfully. Be kind to yourself.

Oh! I’m getting squirmy! Ugh. That’s OK. That’s normal. I’m just going to go back to focusing on the weight of my hands on my jeans.

My nose itches!! What should I do? Do I have permission to scratch it? I want to scratch it. Ok. I’m going to scratch it. I’m going to think about my hand lifting from my thigh, moving through the air, and scratching my nose and then I’ll just set my hand back, gently and smoothly, back on my thigh.

 

That’s it. That’s meditating.

Just once a day to start. Baby steps. Like weight lifting, don’t do too much too soon. Slow and simple rules the day.

 

You can pick a word to ground you if you wish – one that resonates with you. I like words like love, trust, spaciousness, or yes. But I don’t always use a word. I might contemplate the robins that eat the berries from the camphor tree in my front yard, slowly pet my Norwegian Elkhound, admiring the pattern of her coat, or slowly sip my morning tea without doing anything else.

 

Make it easy for yourself. Your soul longs for this nourishment. Think of it as the light you bring to the darkness or as a seasonal change. Let it be the ground on which you move toward Spring.

It’s a New Moon and a New Year this weekend. Scientists have hit upon a theory called “The Fresh Start Effect”.

It happens naturally for most people at the new year or their birthdays, the beginning of a new job, diet, workout, school year, or relationship. Even buying a new journal or personal development book can contribute to this effect.

The Fresh Start Effect is related to Temporal Landmarks – a place in time where we see ourselves in the present moment as related to the past and who we want to be in the future. The Fresh Start Effect can inspire us to pursue new goals or recommit to previous goals. We stop for a moment – we retreat from the hum of our daily lives – and assess. What are we doing? Why are we doing this? Do we want to keep doing this?

 

 

 

My birthday is New Year’s Eve. In the past, this was a problem. I used to say that everyone got at least two times a year, their birthday and the New Year to assess their previous year – the previous chronological and calendar year. I used to say that they were at an advantage because their assessment and reflection were parsed over time, whereas mine doubled up on itself, not really giving me time to assess or make changes.

Hoo-boy. Even writing that now I realize how far I’ve come from that mindset. I was pretty identified as a victim, envious that others got all the good breaks. Those neural pathways were deep and though I’m naturally a good-natured happy person, I can see how underneath I was miserable.

 

If I made a mistake, didn’t exercise, forgot the store returns, overate the chocolate cake or underate vegetables, drank too much, didn’t return the phone call, or sent the holiday package late, I saw myself as a failure, would emotionally berate myself, falling further into a sea of self-loathing.

I couldn’t recover. Any of these actions, and any other activities, mired me in emotional muck. Moments created days, months, and years where I saw myself as a loser and a bum.  I couldn’t handle these simple tasks; what was wrong with me?

Fit people, people who got good grades in school, who had romantic relationships, well-decorated and tidy homes, and well-paying jobs, I could not understand how they managed it.

Positive aspects like heroic, generous, confident, advocate, champion, disciplined, healthy, and good were for other people, not for me.

I couldn’t recover from the negative stream.

They say you have to hit rock bottom and I hit it, bounced up, and hit it again a few more times, that rocky bottom acting more like an ouchy trampoline.

That was enough. I worried I wouldn’t live to see my toddler twins grow up. So I started to work on changing. As they say, it is an inside job.

The changes were slow, just as, I imagine the negative talk was slow, sneaky, and subtle. I earned the changes, mindfully. Occasionally I slipped back into my former ways. Occasionally I still do.

A few of the powerful tools that helped me change. You know these already, but it serves to remind you and it serves to remind me because frankly, life happens. And sometimes when my life is very lively, I let go of the reins. Each one of these tools is a dog pulling the sled of my mind.

• Meditation
• Exercise
• Nature
• Journaling
• Therapy
• Creativity
• Nourishing Foods
• Breathing
• Giving Back
• Here:::Now

 

For me, what I’ve learned is that The Fresh Start Effect no longer has to happen only on my birthday or New Year.

Sometimes when I recognize in a moment that I’m spiraling, I’ll stop, look at my hands or catch my reflection in the mirror, take a few deep breaths, and start again.

I can stop the downward spiral. I can ground myself, breathe deeply, and send the energy where it needs to go – to my heart, hands, or head.

Then I return to this moment, Here:::Now, the only moment that actually exists, the only moment you and I are actually living.

The Fresh Start Effect reminds us that we can start from wherever we are and begin again.

Maybe you are like me, always looking for a fresh start. I look for fresh starts everywhere – the top of the hour, week, or month, a new and quick art project, a sink full of dirty dishes, a walk with the dog. Each of these things has the power to change us if we approach them with equanimity.

It’s a New Moon and a New Year this weekend. Maybe you are ready for a Fresh Start?

Get your journal. Ask yourself these questions.

What do you want to do?

What do you want to stop doing?

What would you like to increase?

What would you like to decrease?

 

They are all variations on the theme…contemplation and soul-searching. We have no problem spending hours scrolling through social media, news feeds, videos, articles, and links.

How much time do you spend a day connecting with your own revelations?

When was the last time you spent an hour – even just ten minutes – glimpsing yourself?

 

Maybe this is the moment for your fresh start.

So we’ve spent a few days thinking, musing, wondering, and pondering.

Like inquisitive journalists, we’ve asked some basic questions – Who? What? When? Where? How? and one of the most important ones, Why?

Why do I make these choices, think these thoughts, or take these actions?

We are taking steps back – we are retreating as best we can from already full days – to address aspects of our lives that strain or pinch.

 

Perhaps you are familiar with Abraham Maslow and his theory Hierarchy of Needs.

I’m going to abridge a detailed and developed theory.

It’s basically a pyramid with basic, physiological needs, like food, water, shelter, and clothing, as the foundation and the need for self-actualization, or the need to fulfill your personal and life potential, at the top of the pyramid.

There are other stages in between, like levels addressing safety and security, relationships – your sense of belonging, intimacy, and friends, and esteem needs – that is, your feelings of confidence, strength, self-respect, and freedom.

The theory states that it is difficult, if not impossible, to move up the ladder if you don’t have your basic needs met.

This oversimplification spits so much truth.

Let’s even just take the idea of “Hangry”.

Has Hanger ever happened to you?

You know what I’m talking about.

You skipped breakfast running out the door. You made lunches for the kids, maybe even persuaded them to eat an instant oatmeal pack or a toaster waffle, but you swilled coffee on an empty stomach while gathering your things for another long day away from the house.

Or you had appointment after appointment, meeting after meeting. When you scheduled everything you thought yourself so clever and efficient. But now your schedule resembles a Jenga tower on the verge of toppling. There is no time for a breather let alone lunch.

Time to pick up the kids – do they have practice or rehearsal they need to get to? An orthodontist appointment or a haircut? They’ve got to be somewhere at a certain time, and it’s up to you to get them there.

Home for dinner, and there is still no rest. (I’m exhausted just typing it all.) Dinner plan? You swing open the refrigerator door (is that the freezer motor grinding? Did the freezer ice over?!) and stare into the abyss.

Can you notice your jaw clutching? Is your breathing shallow? Your stomach growls and you feel hot behind the eyes. No one better say anything to you right now.

 

This may not happen every day but it may happen at least one time a day once a week. And that’s enough.

So let’s talk about Real Food. The kind of food that will nourish and sustain you.

 

You live here:::now, in the early part of the 21st Century. If you live in the United States of America, you are bombarded by diet culture, and information. I’m not going to surprise you with anything new here.

 

But I’m going to propose some things. Sit with them and ponder. If you feel resistance, that’s also information. What are you resisting and why?

 

Some people dedicate several hours of their weekend to meal preparation. I see their perfectly plated food receptacles lined up like a platoon of soldiers in the refrigerator. I admire these people and occasionally look up the receptacles online thinking these are the keys to a more perfect life.

Though I occasionally spend weekends cooking copious amounts of food, I’m neither organized nor dedicated enough to do this regularly or keep it up.

I just don’t know what my body will want in the moment, what the weather will be like. I like to eat fresh food – or at least fresher food. I can’t imagine that the chicken breast I grilled on Sunday will be or taste as satisfying on Friday.

But I grant that I may be wrong.

 

Whirlwind weekend cooking usually means something else to me. Perhaps I had an overscheduled week and I want to hunker down. Perhaps Thing One and Thing Two had an overwhelming week and they need things to feel homey and settled. Perhaps we have friends coming over and I want to wow or tend to them. Perhaps I want to challenge myself with a few new recipes.

Whatever the case, Whirlwind Weekend Cooking isn’t the same to me as Real Food cooking – though sometimes they are linked.

Let’s say we did have an overwhelming and overscheduled week. This may mean that we relied too heavily on food delivery services, simple pasta dinners, frozen food, prepared meals, and takeout.

Nothing wrong with that. Basic needs were met. The family was fed. There was enough for lunch leftovers. Minimal thought energy was expended allowing that thought energy to funnel toward solving work projects, school assignments, family matters, or house issues (did I mention the freezer keeps icing over?).

 

But that can leave me feeling hungry. 

Know what I mean?

Hungry for something that isn’t necessarily food. I’m longing and I want satisfaction.

 

I’ve read the studies and done the research. I know I’m not supposed to use food to soothe myself. I’m meant to find other ways to attend to my emotions.

 

I’m not talking about that.

 

I’m talking about wanting Real Food, made by me, in my home, by my head, hand, and heart.

Diverting from the traditional African American use of the term, I might call it Soul Food even – the food meant to soothe the soul. Spiritual food, Conscious food, food to animate, encourage, and stir up.

 

You may have cultural foods that fill that need in you. We have made it a habit of choosing certain types of food – I used to be partial to voluminous foods that made me feel full, this could even be things like air-popped popcorn or salad.

But this time of year, Winter, calls for warm, dense, cooked foods.

I’m partial to soups and stews. Something that can simmer on the back burner, be stirred, sampled, and served throughout the day.

Heartier grains like bulgur and barley are complex carbohydrates. They are nutrient-dense, your body’s preferred form of energy, full of fiber, and help regulate blood sugar.

I cook them in salted water and have them in the refrigerator for the week.

I might eat them at breakfast, warmed with milk, drizzled with honey, topped with toasted walnuts or pecans, and sprinkled with cinnamon, cloves, and cardamom.

I also like to make a salad with them. Chop parsley, a fennel bulb, radishes, and cherry tomatoes. Add to the bulgur or barley. Squeeze lemon juice and olive oil over the veggies and grains and toss. Add salt and pepper to taste. This salad is lovely because it is best when eaten at room temperature. If you chop all the veggies to bite-size, you can keep it in your car and grab a few bites during your day.

Hot water with lemon, honey or ginger, and teas of all sorts keep me hydrated and soothed. I avoid ice and cold foods as much as possible. I add warming spices – such as cinnamon, ginger, black, red, or white peppers, cardamom, cloves, allspice, turmeric, star anise, coriander and cumin, mace, and nutmeg – to all I can.

Cooking food from India, including curries and dal, or roasting root vegetables are ways to increase Real Food.

Re-treat this weekend. Scan your pantry first. What’s there? What have you chosen in the past? Do you remember shopping for that? Why did you choose that?

I’ve read some articles that say we shouldn’t ask “Why”. That asking “why” of children (why did you do that?!) puts them on the spot and shames them.

But we are learning to be gentle with ourselves, to nourish ourselves so we can flourish.

Go ahead. Ask yourself why gently. Trust yourself that you are asking, in the same way, children ask why the moon follows them or why the grass is green.

I often look in my pantry at boxes of pasta and ask why I bought so much. Pasta is my least favorite simple carbohydrate to eat (my most favorite is bread). But in my family of four, the majority LOVE pasta. I know why it is there. I’m asking myself why is there so much? Is it to prove I love them? To physically demonstrate abundance in the pantry – that we have enough? Out of fear? Because it was on sale?

Spend some time perusing websites and looking for one or two new recipes to try. Or try the suggestions above.

They key for this weekend is to begin to prepare today. You aren’t even preparing today…just beginning to prepare. You are hedging.

Get quiet with your journal and ask…

What sounds good to me right now?

What do I need to nourish myself right now?

What am I hungry for right now?

 

You may find that the answers might include – a hug, a nap, a bath, folding socks, a walk, a chat o the phone with my sister, or a cuddle with my cat and kids.

But ask first. So often we jump into the next thing, and we don’t even realize what we are doing until we are halfway done. I’ll be washing the dishes and notice, Ah! Look at me washing the dishes.

Look for the Real Food this weekend – the things that will nourish you, feed your hunger, soothe your soul.

 

Looking forward to hearing how you gratified yourself.

San Diego is a Mediterranean climate. Long dry summers and short wet winters are the capstone qualities. Eighty percent of the time the weather is mild. Indeed, we also experience Santa Ana winds – periods where hot dry winds hammer in from the deserts in the east, making everything crackle with static, causing tremendous instability.

 

But the short wet winters are my favorite. Perhaps because the rain is rare it causes tremendous appreciation. It feels like actual weather – the kind you read about in books.

 

Southern California is experiencing it right now. Gobs of rain have fallen over the last three weeks because of atmospheric rivers causing flooding, sinkholes, and mudslides.

This is our winter.

We used to run a certified organic farm. That is when I learned about real food, nourishment, and living deeply with the seasons.

During our short wet winters, the air feels different, smells rise from the soil, eucalyptus leaves shimmer, and nettles and nasturtiums materialize.

The vegetables that grew during the winter were brawny and tough.

Beets the size of your fist, vigorously red, with dirt clutching to the tiny tendrils, their greens lively as a drag queen’s hair. Kale, resplendent, and lacey as a Queen’s cape. Juicy and sweet cream-colored turnips, bitter dandelion greens, their leaves serrated like pinking shears, magenta cabbages, quizzical cauliflower – these vegetables triple dog dared you.

Growing in the valley, these veggies braced freezing nights and soared at sunrise, ridiculing the cold and long dark nights. During the day they expanded like satellite dishes to consume every watt of luminosity, every radiant speck of energy to form their complicated and complex structures.

 

Did you catch that?

 

Do you realize that’s what you do too?

 

Do you understand this is your Winter’s Work?

 

It’s a cold world out there right now. There are fewer daylight hours which means there are more hours of darkness; more time for dreaming. Come inside, collect yourself, cuddle up and get cozy.

 

What’s your dream?

 

The dream is what nourishes your soul, that’s the soul’s food.

Fantasy, imagination, play, and creativity are all ways the soul wants to expand.

 

This is your retreat exercise for today. Let’s see if you will play along.

Get your journal – do you have one yet? Don’t sweat it if you don’t. Grab a used notebook and a marker, a word-heavy magazine, or even an old newspaper will do. The point of the journal is just to get the words, thoughts, fantasies, and dreams out of your mind and body.

I made a pretty big leap here today. Even I thought I was going to talk about Winter Food (which I will tomorrow, I promise). But I was reminded of the way the vegetables would come to attention as though they were summoned by the sun, life-giving, energy envoy.

Where do you get your life? How do you transmute your energy? What is your life for?

Free write for ten minutes and see what comes up for you.