January 31! Ah! To write that date. It seems inconceivable that New Year’s Day was thirty days ago. Yet it was. At that time I feel I’ve lived multiple lives and yet here I am, at this desk, blanket over my shoulders cuddled against the cold.
I didn’t eat enough yesterday. I woke at 2:30 in the morning to hunger pangs so strong I never quite fell back asleep.
As my stomach grumbled I prayed. I sent out prayers to all the hungry people on the planet.
I pray for parents of hungry children, they themselves are hungry, surely giving up their own food to feed their young. I pray for the anguish they might feel – how desperate and frustrated I imagine them to be.
I know here, in this big city of mine, there are children and families who go hungry. The school system has free lunches, breakfasts, and snacks for them – even during the summer. They take home extra over the weekend to insure their nourishment, sometimes sharing with younger siblings who don’t yet qualify for the program.
Twenty-eight percent of the residents in my county are food insecure, which means they cannot provide three, nutrient-dense meals per day.
Conflict is the biggest contributor to this issue. Areas of war and violence are deeply affected with millions of people being forced from their homes, their sources of income destroyed, and their families and stability ruptured.
But conflict doesn’t only happen in war-torn areas, or countries with erratic leadership or run by dictators. Instability and brutal abuse can happen in unstable homes leaving everyone shaken and afraid. Basic needs become onerous to attain. What many of us take for granted – a warm and clean home, abundant clothing and food, freedom and choices – are not feasible in unpredictable situations.
I pray for the abusers too. The despots and autocrats, the offenders and the victimizer, that their hearts be changed, that they recognize their actions and cease. May they replace violence with equanimity.
Prayer helps. I believe in energy. Sending someone good thoughts, good vibes, good wishes, and loving concern matters. But action matters more.
The Adolescents have Spring Break coming up in about six weeks. Immediately after meditating and journaling, I hopped online to see about volunteer opportunities abroad. Instead of taking a vacation perhaps now is the time for them to see our privilege and our duty. We already belong to a philanthropic organization and donate our time and energy throughout the year BUT! I thought maybe it was time to take the show on the road and have a more immersive experience.
But the truth is that all the traveling isn’t sustainable for the planet. And I don’t have to travel fo fill needs. There are so many needs to fill right here at home.
First, what do I need? Spending the time I might have spent traveling on quiet time meditating, journaling, making art, writing poetry, and moving will bring things up for me. Sifting and sorting I will discover what needs are most pressing. I can create a plan to address them.
Second, what about the children? That space and time can create opportunities to learn about what’s on their hearts. Without the bounce and flow of the school schedule, the early mornings and late afternoons, the pressure and exhaustion of assignments due, tests and essays, they can relax a little, let their guard down and discover as well. Right now is my opportunity to offer coping strategies, playlists or podcasts, articles or exercises that they can practice. Maybe some will stick, maybe they won’t. But the goal is to get them to understand that their calm and contented presence contributes to a better quality of life.
Third, my close relationships – family and friends. Now I can take time to have a long luxurious coffee date, go on a walk, or make dinner. These are gifts of time, the only true commodity any of us have. My Love Language is Quality Time (and Words of Affirmation). I can write letters or create postcards and send them to my loved ones who live away.
Now, then, my close community. Serving at a food kitchen, working with the food bank, cleaning the beaches and parks, creating art for families with hospitalized loved ones – these are all ways to help. We donate money as well, but it’s the time – it’s the actions – that reach, souls connecting with other souls. As Shirley Chilsom said, “Service is the rent you pay for room on this earth”.
As a child we used to sing a hymn in church that said, “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me”. I regularly sing that line to myself knowing that peace on earth begins with peace within.
Not all of us want fight (although we need activists too) but we want things to change, improve, and advance.
Just like the adage that says in order to be able to fully love someone else you must love yourself first, I believe that in order to be a most effective helper, we must first help ourselves.
Yes, it is selfish. But if everyone else is drowning, you can’t expect them to throw you a lifeline. Discover, through trial and error, what your lifeline is and use it to rise above.