So we’ve spent a few days thinking, musing, wondering, and pondering.

Like inquisitive journalists, we’ve asked some basic questions – Who? What? When? Where? How? and one of the most important ones, Why?

Why do I make these choices, think these thoughts, or take these actions?

We are taking steps back – we are retreating as best we can from already full days – to address aspects of our lives that strain or pinch.

 

Perhaps you are familiar with Abraham Maslow and his theory Hierarchy of Needs.

I’m going to abridge a detailed and developed theory.

It’s basically a pyramid with basic, physiological needs, like food, water, shelter, and clothing, as the foundation and the need for self-actualization, or the need to fulfill your personal and life potential, at the top of the pyramid.

There are other stages in between, like levels addressing safety and security, relationships – your sense of belonging, intimacy, and friends, and esteem needs – that is, your feelings of confidence, strength, self-respect, and freedom.

The theory states that it is difficult, if not impossible, to move up the ladder if you don’t have your basic needs met.

This oversimplification spits so much truth.

Let’s even just take the idea of “Hangry”.

Has Hanger ever happened to you?

You know what I’m talking about.

You skipped breakfast running out the door. You made lunches for the kids, maybe even persuaded them to eat an instant oatmeal pack or a toaster waffle, but you swilled coffee on an empty stomach while gathering your things for another long day away from the house.

Or you had appointment after appointment, meeting after meeting. When you scheduled everything you thought yourself so clever and efficient. But now your schedule resembles a Jenga tower on the verge of toppling. There is no time for a breather let alone lunch.

Time to pick up the kids – do they have practice or rehearsal they need to get to? An orthodontist appointment or a haircut? They’ve got to be somewhere at a certain time, and it’s up to you to get them there.

Home for dinner, and there is still no rest. (I’m exhausted just typing it all.) Dinner plan? You swing open the refrigerator door (is that the freezer motor grinding? Did the freezer ice over?!) and stare into the abyss.

Can you notice your jaw clutching? Is your breathing shallow? Your stomach growls and you feel hot behind the eyes. No one better say anything to you right now.

 

This may not happen every day but it may happen at least one time a day once a week. And that’s enough.

So let’s talk about Real Food. The kind of food that will nourish and sustain you.

 

You live here:::now, in the early part of the 21st Century. If you live in the United States of America, you are bombarded by diet culture, and information. I’m not going to surprise you with anything new here.

 

But I’m going to propose some things. Sit with them and ponder. If you feel resistance, that’s also information. What are you resisting and why?

 

Some people dedicate several hours of their weekend to meal preparation. I see their perfectly plated food receptacles lined up like a platoon of soldiers in the refrigerator. I admire these people and occasionally look up the receptacles online thinking these are the keys to a more perfect life.

Though I occasionally spend weekends cooking copious amounts of food, I’m neither organized nor dedicated enough to do this regularly or keep it up.

I just don’t know what my body will want in the moment, what the weather will be like. I like to eat fresh food – or at least fresher food. I can’t imagine that the chicken breast I grilled on Sunday will be or taste as satisfying on Friday.

But I grant that I may be wrong.

 

Whirlwind weekend cooking usually means something else to me. Perhaps I had an overscheduled week and I want to hunker down. Perhaps Thing One and Thing Two had an overwhelming week and they need things to feel homey and settled. Perhaps we have friends coming over and I want to wow or tend to them. Perhaps I want to challenge myself with a few new recipes.

Whatever the case, Whirlwind Weekend Cooking isn’t the same to me as Real Food cooking – though sometimes they are linked.

Let’s say we did have an overwhelming and overscheduled week. This may mean that we relied too heavily on food delivery services, simple pasta dinners, frozen food, prepared meals, and takeout.

Nothing wrong with that. Basic needs were met. The family was fed. There was enough for lunch leftovers. Minimal thought energy was expended allowing that thought energy to funnel toward solving work projects, school assignments, family matters, or house issues (did I mention the freezer keeps icing over?).

 

But that can leave me feeling hungry. 

Know what I mean?

Hungry for something that isn’t necessarily food. I’m longing and I want satisfaction.

 

I’ve read the studies and done the research. I know I’m not supposed to use food to soothe myself. I’m meant to find other ways to attend to my emotions.

 

I’m not talking about that.

 

I’m talking about wanting Real Food, made by me, in my home, by my head, hand, and heart.

Diverting from the traditional African American use of the term, I might call it Soul Food even – the food meant to soothe the soul. Spiritual food, Conscious food, food to animate, encourage, and stir up.

 

You may have cultural foods that fill that need in you. We have made it a habit of choosing certain types of food – I used to be partial to voluminous foods that made me feel full, this could even be things like air-popped popcorn or salad.

But this time of year, Winter, calls for warm, dense, cooked foods.

I’m partial to soups and stews. Something that can simmer on the back burner, be stirred, sampled, and served throughout the day.

Heartier grains like bulgur and barley are complex carbohydrates. They are nutrient-dense, your body’s preferred form of energy, full of fiber, and help regulate blood sugar.

I cook them in salted water and have them in the refrigerator for the week.

I might eat them at breakfast, warmed with milk, drizzled with honey, topped with toasted walnuts or pecans, and sprinkled with cinnamon, cloves, and cardamom.

I also like to make a salad with them. Chop parsley, a fennel bulb, radishes, and cherry tomatoes. Add to the bulgur or barley. Squeeze lemon juice and olive oil over the veggies and grains and toss. Add salt and pepper to taste. This salad is lovely because it is best when eaten at room temperature. If you chop all the veggies to bite-size, you can keep it in your car and grab a few bites during your day.

Hot water with lemon, honey or ginger, and teas of all sorts keep me hydrated and soothed. I avoid ice and cold foods as much as possible. I add warming spices – such as cinnamon, ginger, black, red, or white peppers, cardamom, cloves, allspice, turmeric, star anise, coriander and cumin, mace, and nutmeg – to all I can.

Cooking food from India, including curries and dal, or roasting root vegetables are ways to increase Real Food.

Re-treat this weekend. Scan your pantry first. What’s there? What have you chosen in the past? Do you remember shopping for that? Why did you choose that?

I’ve read some articles that say we shouldn’t ask “Why”. That asking “why” of children (why did you do that?!) puts them on the spot and shames them.

But we are learning to be gentle with ourselves, to nourish ourselves so we can flourish.

Go ahead. Ask yourself why gently. Trust yourself that you are asking, in the same way, children ask why the moon follows them or why the grass is green.

I often look in my pantry at boxes of pasta and ask why I bought so much. Pasta is my least favorite simple carbohydrate to eat (my most favorite is bread). But in my family of four, the majority LOVE pasta. I know why it is there. I’m asking myself why is there so much? Is it to prove I love them? To physically demonstrate abundance in the pantry – that we have enough? Out of fear? Because it was on sale?

Spend some time perusing websites and looking for one or two new recipes to try. Or try the suggestions above.

They key for this weekend is to begin to prepare today. You aren’t even preparing today…just beginning to prepare. You are hedging.

Get quiet with your journal and ask…

What sounds good to me right now?

What do I need to nourish myself right now?

What am I hungry for right now?

 

You may find that the answers might include – a hug, a nap, a bath, folding socks, a walk, a chat o the phone with my sister, or a cuddle with my cat and kids.

But ask first. So often we jump into the next thing, and we don’t even realize what we are doing until we are halfway done. I’ll be washing the dishes and notice, Ah! Look at me washing the dishes.

Look for the Real Food this weekend – the things that will nourish you, feed your hunger, soothe your soul.

 

Looking forward to hearing how you gratified yourself.